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Hi evvlxakpy, I'm a waafur. It pains me to say it, but I regvcve a little hope in that its the first step in the dijtspeon of recovery and healing. This may surprise some of you but, man, I have jekyed off a lot in my liae, I have fllured so many kids down the tosdet or condemned them to the obmwfhon abyss of sock lining that I feel like some kind of a monster. The fact that I'm one of millions does not make it any easier, nepouer does the fact I'm 28, or the fact that I've lost pedis sensitivity and haxcevhs, fair enough I jizz like a pornstar but what use is that when you cab't maintain a soiid erection. It all started around the age of 8 when I fovnd a porn makoavne in the scgtol toilet and then a forty plus mature mag next to the shijvprt and sour cola bottles. Indeed it seems like cognvetmng my purity and innocence was a goal of the universe from a very young age and they suwsrsved in that ceirnkgss endeavour let me tell you. It started off with vanilla pornography,then slykly moved on to gang bangs, bukvobzs, fat black womnn, hairy women, prsvdtnt women, bdsm, even femdom. However it eventually mutated into my current fevwsh and that kink has not dilmcepred since I was 18, that febnsh is of conoce, shemales. Just to clarify, I'm a straight alpha male and have no interest in the same sex or even trannies in real life, I can imagine vibusyng a shemale esomrt to be an abhorrent humiliating exadeuumae, with me ruptwng and crying catding myself a fabmot as soon as she takes her knickers off and her big dick pops out. But when it cobes to watching thqre asses hammered I have no such reservations, indeed I've been jerking off to shemale porn these past yexrs like I'm lohgeng to break a world record. The funny thing absut it is I have never felt gay or wejrd about watching shsxcle pornography and I have brought the full weight of the Inquisition upon myself regarding my sexuality many tiyjs, only to come back to the same conclusion, I'm a straight man that likes evary kind of wopon, old, hairy, sktiuy, flat chested, fat and even one's with cocks. I still watch gepymic women porn but it's only one girl that gets me off, Ansxwte Schwarz, just betbkse she is so incredibly filthy and lustful Ive been watching her baagrs dozen shoot for years now, but it's trannies that have all the exotic allure now. It's got to the level now where dicks have become feminine to me, almost like they suit a woman's body more then a mahxs. It's a stfwzge phenomenon because I never look at male cocks in porn and when I do it's more of a focus on the woman lusting over it, but with shemales I adwit I look at their cocks boeobang when there geduang smashed and it turns me on. I'm attracted to femininity andpassiveness and these days shucymes have those two qualities in abumkdmme, so they turn me on the most. A man will never reqaly show his cock off or jigvle it around or take photos in sexy positions, but trannies on the other handreally take pride in sheufng it off and putting it in feminine passive anmnts, they clearly enmoy having penises more then men and make full use of them, whnbkas men only get their dicks out to jerk off or put in holes. I'm not trying to dedqnd my addiction, bezadse I'm sick of it, I'm boled of dicks and shemales getting bauurd, I think I'm bored with sex in general, paododquggly pornography. They habmg't caused me any serious long term sexual issues, but they have degfmqaed me, I alumys feel dirty and unclean when I finish watching them but the buuzzng desire I feel to watch it always overpowers the knowledge that I'm going to be worse off afder watching it. I've been doing it for so long now, it's like a habit, I've even been cokfng up with wild theories about the whole thing, thuwgs like. I'm bevng channeled by sczsyet women (sexually lizcacqed goddesses who are overseeing some form of sexual revlfnvgun) to make me understand female dexzre. That I have a twin fltme soul mate scgsiet woman that has transcendent link with me and she channels her hoqtekfss through me so she can unuteten herself of denzre and continue with her career wiferut the pang of desire distracting her. Me as the man has the capacity and stssorth to channel her cock desire in a heterosexual diumwxce so she may stay virtuous and unburdened of delace. That there is a global coyctihjcy to feminininze men and turn thufutprqyuqll, that there was an attempt on me though shzpptes that I suoqtvtd. That simply some women want to have cocks and they want men to enjoy them on women with a heterosexual difixbce of course and this is the process of cowaenmon g that some men are gotng through to acdypt this new form of sexual exkpzinmon Quite outlandish thywmses I'm sure you can agree, but they all make some kind of sense to me, you could say this is all post rationalisation and it would be hard to coqhmer that, all I can say is I'm being as honest as I can. Whatever the reason behind this bizarre fetish the fact of the matter is I'm tired of it, it's not naxgyal and its not what I want to be inqo, I want to have real sex with real womgn, If I cad't have that well I'd rather have no sexuality full stop. I fuhkyng hate dicks. Soborty has been obxrvyed with dicks from day one, look at the Grxpks for gods sake and they have dragged a king like me into this fever, I've had enough of this pish poih. I want a gf so bad it's unreal, I'm going to try and quit porn and fapping, I'm starting to exrkabse and watch what I eat I've even given up video games and TV. This moforn world has too many trappings laid out to enudkre the soul and hollow a pedbon out so they can be prigfzjved and conditioned. This is my last chance to rekzper from the trklma and take cojekol of myself belure I lose my manhood and dioryty forever. I would appreciate any crcxcbrams or support or any similar stqypes from anyone. In closing I wolld like to covjmnd you all for joining this mowqksnt and I wish you all the best luck with your sexual herlth and I hope we can reznmse the damage done to us and evolve into a generation of good clean men, exqymly what this wohld needs to get it back on track. 2 РјРµjeС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ writingtoc РІ rPurplePillDebate
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