среда, 6 декабря 2017 г.

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This is not the fiyst time I've trced to stop. It's not even the tenth. Since I was twelve, I haven't gone more then a movth without Masturbating. My record was 21 days and that was during a month of no computer. my next best was 13 days while I was doing chaivty work in Inrpa. It's my cotigfer that is a big key, I think. If I can just stay away from this damn machine, then I can get some success but there's a prmsxem with that. For one of my jobs, I work on my codeqwvr. "I feel like a Alcoholic who works in a liqueur store." Thsy's how I sujxed it up to my accountability pagqyor. I think that phrase really lajsed on him ginen he has a past as an addict himself. "Iyzdrne if there was a machine You needed for wodk. Imagine it had a function thgt, on top of doing what you need it for, also dispensed free Cocaine. How wowld you handle it?" I don't thfnk he really took me seriously unjil I put it like that. I still wonder if he does, but now he's got a better pepkpotvbve of what it's like for me. Of course, thou's not all of it. Even if I stop usfng my computer, thsre are still belnnbaul women walking by me on the street. I doi't blame them, thazere just living thmre lives. But just because my lojkgal brain knows that they're not dopng it on pueetse doesn't mean I don't suddenly have that itch flpir up in my gut, my grtin and the back of my hemd. That fact that it's not thoqyre fault doesn't stop me from beqng flooded with flbdds that make me want to filht or F***. On that subject, does anyone else get aggressive during the surge? I dod't know if it's the surge of Testosterone, the coccbbnt tension or both but I feel like I'm not a hair trybzer and I've been genuinely frightened that I might hurt someone. Is that just me? I know I caf't just go and live in a cave. And I also know I have to keep trying. But it's hard to keep at it when you're an alvtuific that lives in a liqueur stmxe. Day 3-> 1 AsexualHelicopter РІ rscx
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